A ‘Makeover’ for my Imaan
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
I am thirty years old, and for the last ten years, I have been chasing the world and developing my career as a makeup artist. Alhamdulillah, I have now changed my life and would like to share my story so that others may be inspired.
At the age of twenty, I qualified as a makeup artist. I was exceptionally talented and was ready to take the world by storm! My first ‘big break’ as a makeup artist was when I worked on the Jay Sean concert during his trip to South Africa. From there, things got better and better, until I opened my own makeup studio.
I was married at the age of twenty two, and had my son at twenty four, but I was still focused on my career. I was consumed by my work and was completely caught up in the dunya. I would tell people, “I want my son to become a haafiz of the Quraan.” Not once did I think, “How will my son become a haafiz when his mother is so consumed by dunya and fame?”
Soon, I became very well known and I was always fully booked. I started hosting live makeup tutorials on Instagram. I even had makeup sponsorships from different cosmetic companies. I was getting bigger and bigger, but my imaan was getting weaker and weaker. I was not remembering Allah Ta‘ala at all and I was oblivious of death. I was not building anything for the Aakhirah – but I was building so much in the dunya, not realising that this world is temporary.
Last year, when I was twenty nine, I signed a contract for a ground breaking TV series airing on e-tv, produced by one of the major giants in productions. I was so excited and thought, “This is my dream!”
On 17th December 2017 I met in a car accident on my way back from work. The car flipped ten times and spun ten times. It landed seventy meters from the road and was a complete write-off. In the accident, I broke my collar bone and still suffer with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) due to that. I had to be rushed for an emergency operation because my bone had pierced through my muscle and was sitting on my artery. I went for the operation and a titanium plate was placed in my shoulder which I have to keep forever, as one bone is broken. It will never be as strong again and it needs extra support.
After my operation, I started feeling different about myself. I was literally bed ridden for two weeks. I couldn’t even bath or feed myself! The recovery pain was more severe than when my bone was broken!
Anyway, I got back to working on the series with my arm in a sling as I was still in recovery. Days passed, but I just wasn’t feeling any contentment, happiness or enjoyment in my ‘dream job’ or even freelancing again. Then I became a brand ambassador for a new makeup brand, and even then, I didn’t feel any contentment or joy.
On 1st March my nani (mother’s mother) passed away. As soon as I heard the news, I rushed back from work to be with my mum. My job hours were twelve to sixteen hours a day – that’s how TV works. Anyway, I saw my mum broken. I have never seen her like that before – she was always so strong!
The next week, I went back to work feeling more and more uneasy and uncomfortable. Finally, that Friday, I woke up and decided that I was not going to continue with this job any longer. I didn’t want this life anymore and so I resigned. The production company initially rejected my resignation and insisted that they needed me, but I insisted on resigning and told them that my family needed me more.
I had spent ten years running behind my career and the dunya without any concern about the Aakhirah. These two events in my life changed me without me even realising it. Alhamdulillah, Allah Ta‘ala guided me and inspired me to change my life.
I started thinking, “What if I pass away while my pictures are all over social media?” That’s when I realised how much I had exposed myself to the world. It was then that I started contemplating going into niqaab. I was thinking about it constantly and making du‘aa because the urge within me was so strong. Eventually, I decided to permanently give up my life as a makeup artist and go into niqaab.
Alhamdulillah, I have never felt so much of contentment in my life! Now I remember Allah Ta‘ala and think about the Aakhirah every day. Before, I was a career-driven, ‘independent’ woman, and now I am so proud to say that I am a ‘stay at home’ mum, a wife and a niqaabi (woman wearing the niqaab).
If I could make the change, anyone can. Allah Ta‘ala is always there. Call to Him and He will answer.
Source: Uswatul Muslimah
